A Spiritual Healer's Journey ......
Along the path of self-discovery I have been shown an incredible journey. Feeling pain in life by losing my father when I was only 22 years of age, I found that all experiences whether positive or negative have two meanings. The loss of my father was the rebirth of me and my Spirituality. In my sadness I found that it was time to reflect inside to who I was and where I was going. To feel pain in this precious life also meant that I was able to feel love for myself and others. I found that if you find love and compassion for yourself all the other emotions such as anger, grief, and self–doubt can be dissolved by the power of unconditional love. This is where my journey had to begin.
As I sit and write this profile of myself, you too can begin your own journey of self-discovery. As you take the time to read this journey you may find similarities in your own life, because you are on a path of self–discovery like me.
My journey began with a great desire to learn yoga and meditation. I didn’t realise at the time the great benefits that would be gained from these practices. Fortunately I followed my instincts and embarked on a study of Yoga, which led me to Meditation. Within the Yoga classes we practiced postures, breathing, awareness and most importantly how to QUIET THE MIND. As we all know it is the conscious mind that will not keep still long enough for us to feel and know the self.
I found that the yoga was strengthening my physical body, the nervous system and the mind, which is all important in preparing the self for meditation. I wanted to meditate but soon found that there was a process to be followed to gain the maximum benefit. In the classes they taught us to become a WITNESS TO THE BREATH, watch it come into the body and go out of the body. Over several years I was taught yoga Postures, Kriya,s, Mudras, Bundhas and Hath Yoga, as this was a process of unlocking Prana, Energy Centres, and Kundalini Energy. (Kundalini Energy is the primordial energy, which lies coiled at the base of the spine. When it is awakened, this energy or Shakiti moves upward via subtle channels or nadis purifying the entire being).
At this stage I hadn’t integrated my Spiritual Life with my everyday Life. I thought they were two separate realities. In my everyday life I worked as an Engineering Draftsman – very calculated and precise, no lateral thinking. I worked on a contract basis so there was no permanent job or security. I always seemed to be living on the edge, nothing permanent – always in a state of change, ever evolving. This is how it had to be – no change, no gain. The interesting thing about this situation was that I met a lot of different people. As I went to different workplaces, people would approach me and tell me of their ailments (or the ailments of family or friends). Everywhere I turned people were telling me about their illnesses. I didn’t feel at the time that I was able to help them, although I gave them some advice and left it at that. Many would return a few weeks later and tell me that they saw me in their dreams and that I placed my hands on their body and they now found great relief from their ailments.
At this stage of my development I was not aware of what was going on in the dream state. Although the Spiritual Healing was happening at a deeper level, I was yet to become aware of it. As I deepened my level of Meditation a sense of calm engulfed me and I felt I had started to connect with my deeper Spiritual self. I found that as each drafting contract ended, it caused turmoil in all areas of my life which in turn led me into deeper levels of meditation. Deep inside I knew that I would find the path to follow.
It’s interesting that throughout our lives we meet the right people at the right time to guide us, if only we are open minded and willing to allow change to occur.
In Canberra I met Kim Dudley, a Homeopath, Herbalist, Acupuncturist and Teacher. When I met Kim he had been practising for 18 years and is a very deep and connected soul. He saw in me a person in transition still working through my grief and sorrow from the death of my father. With his treatments and guidance he was able to move into the deeper level of the subconscious mind to release my pain and sorrow. Having laughed and cried, I left him feeling lighter and less burdened by my sorrow. I wondered what our emotions had to do with our illnesses – I would find out later.
Inside myself I wanted to know – how do you have deep devotion to your Spiritual Self? Kim introduced me to Siddha Yoga – a linage of spiritual Masters (Siddha’s) that connected you firstly with yourself and then with God. Gurumayi and her Guru Baba Muktananda and his Guru Bhagavan Nityananda now moved into my psyche and showed me firstly that my spiritual life was connected to my everyday life and that the two were one. I was also shown that I had to surrender myself, firstly to myself and then surrender myself to God.
Once again I found myself ever evolving, ever changing. For a few hours a week I went to Siddha Yoga Satsang Program where I participated in Chanting and Meditation but this time there was something very different happening. Some of the postures and breathing exercises I had previously learnt were now happening automatically in my body. It seemed to me that a Guru – Disciple relationship was evolving. (The Guru bestows God’s Grace on followers. By the Grace of the Guru the Divine Shakti is awakened and pure love is released within us.) I now realise that one’s Spirituality will evolve itself at any opportunity.
In surrendering myself to myself and surrendering myself to God, my everyday life and my Spiritual Life was now one. As I continued on in my life and in Siddha Yoga, my meditations become deeper and more meaningful. My Third Eye at Ajna Chakra was opening and I was becoming more aware of my Spiritual evolvement. We often seem to be left in the dark when there is no change or expansion of the self.
My life now seemed fuller in my everyday job and my Spirituality. This connection with the self now started to take another turn. I started to channel poetry. My intuitiveness from inside was now filtering down to my conscious mind so that not only could I see my Spiritual evolvement but I could hear it as well. In that year I wrote over 100 poems about everyday things, my family, my spirituality, as well as people’s feelings and emotions. An example of this is the following poem:
“As I sit down in the lotus pose;
I cross my legs and dispel my woes
I form a pyramid shape to be steady and strong;
And enter the dream state for that is where I belong.
I start my practice at the base of my spine;
It’s called “Mooladhara” the root which is just divine.
Lying there dormant disguised as a snake;
A coiled serpent is waiting ready to wake.
It starts to climb the Spiritual Tree;
To the chakra of creativity.
“Swadhisthana” it is known which means one’s own.
It governs attitudes and relationships;
As the snake takes its grip.
The serpent continues to rise to “Manipura”
the jewelled lotus which pleases the eye.
It governs the liver and the spleen;
and is the clearing house of one’s dreams.
Beyond the solar plexus and up to “Anahata”
the life giving chakra that beats from the very start.
It is the centre of great love
that overcomes ones ego to show real love.
As the coiled serpent continues up the Spiritual tree;
It now enters “Vishuddhi”
The purification centre of the thyroid Gland;
That allows you to communicate your call of command.
Up ever up the coiled serpent will go
to the Chakra ”Ajna” where the three rivers flow;
Ajna is the bridge that links the two –
the disciple and the Guru.
It is known as the divine eye;
To look inward and not outside.
And now to the crown to the very top
the coiled serpent now can stop.
Shiva and Shakti now can unite
to form ones awareness that transcends
all our delights.
As my meditation deepened, Guides from spirit came to help educate me on Spiritual matters and unconditional love. It truly was a mind to mind experience and I thought that this was what meditation was all about. As I told other people about these experiences they asked – what are you doing that we’re not doing? I didn’t know – I was just meditating.
I have found time and time again in my life that when I get too firmly entrenched in the comfort zone it is always time for more changes.
I have also found that life becomes much easier if “I go with the flow” and don’t try to fight these changes. As I sat reading the paper one day I noticed an advertisement with a distinct golden glow about it (in my eyes only). On further investigation I found it was an ad for Michael Cartwright – medium and clairvoyant. I instinctively knew I had to go and see him even though I had never heard of him before. Michael is a great medium with extraordinary vision and foresight; only because he is so connected to the God within. Once again, another person coming into my life. Michael connects very strongly with friends and relatives in spirit. On this occasion he knew that his contact with me bought someone of a higher order to tell me why my life was so ever changing and my Spiritual Self needed to be developed. As I sat in his room a golden orange light engulfed me and with incredible accuracy Michael told me about my childhood, my Mother and my Father. How did he know so much about my life? His connection with my Higher Self was truly amazing, although to him it was God’s truth, a messenger between connecting souls and God. He talked about my past and my immediate situation with great accuracy and detail. If that wasn’t enough, he then turned to my future.
Michael told me that I had bought the healing gift from another lifetime to this life and that my path was to be a Healer (I felt that familiar feeling of fear welling up inside me, although inside I knew that what he was telling me was God’s truth). I sat thinking – Why me? A voice in my head said “Why not you”. Michael told me that surgeons in spirit were being placed around me to be used as Psychic Surgeons to heal physical ailments in the body.
To me this was very foreign; I didn’t know the first thing about healing, surgeons or the power of unconditional love. I was to be a channel of energy and instrument to help people through their sickness and illness. My time with Michael came to an end and as I left I felt an incredible weight lift from my shoulders. Deep inside I knew my destiny was always predetermined – I only had to recognize it myself. (Like all of us we underestimate our potential, by letting fear and doubt limit us in knowing our self).
In recognizing the truth in me, many questions surfaced inside. Why me? What did I know about Healing? Who would come and see me, as I had no medical background? All I really had to do was have trust in me and the Universal Law of Unconditional Love and my Siddha Yoga practices.
At one Intensive we were chanting the Mantra “Om Namah Shivya” (which is a primal sound and a resolution to our inner bounds). As I merged myself with the mantra, a cold swirl of air circled around me. In my head a voice told me to breathe in the air. The voice came again breathe in the air, so this time I did. The cold air rushed to the back of my throat and then down to the base of my spine. It then exploded and filled every artery, vein and blood vessel in my body, filling it with incredible energy. A hand seemed to grab me at the throat centre and pull me forward, out of my physical body. I was now floating in what you would describe as the "Blissful State" – somewhere I had never been before – where one is truly connected to God and to my own Spirit.
As I bathed in this state for about 20 minutes I could then hear the Mantra being chanted separately from me, and as it started to slow and come to an end, I thought “No don’t stop now, I don’t want to come back, the blissful state is for me”. The Mantra slowed and as it did I was jolted back to my physical body. I immediately jumped up and looked around expecting to see the thousands of roses that had to be there to create the incredibly strong wonderful fragrance I was experiencing. As I looked around I could only see the other people preparing for meditation.
As I sat down recognising that God had given me a great experience through Nityananda, Gurumayi and Baba Muktananda, leaving me with the fragrance of roses – “the sweetness of my very soul”. The fragrance stayed with me for a week. No matter where I went I was reminded of the sweetness of my own divinity – I only had to accept it. By accepting myself I was also accepting my Spiritual Path and interwoven with that was the acceptance of other people helping me along the path. (Help is everywhere, we just have to ask and accept it).
With regular meditation my life seemed to come into balance and stabilize (the calm before the storm). Kundalini energy was about to make its presence felt – blissful at first but also a powerful cleansing tool for the Soul.
Kundalini was about to move out of my base chakra up to the Solar plexus and its function in me was to bring out my creativity through my poetry writing, which had changed to become more meaningful messages from spirit.
In this move Kundalini was helping me to let go of my past angers, frustrations, old hurts and emotions. Where had the blissful state gone? I felt depressed at the depth of my very soul; I felt rushes of energy, uncontrollable highs and lows – full of energy or no energy at all, I was experiencing the cleansing journey of my inner self and so was my family. I felt detached, alone and isolated. As I experienced each emotion and hurt I could see no way out and I thought I was doomed. I had surrendered myself to the negative side of my real self. My physical body was uncoordinated and I had throat and chest problems, which would recur again and again. I thought meditation was to evolve the soul – not from my point of view at this time.
As I centred myself in all of the confusion I went back to what I had learnt in meditation – BECOME A WITNESS TO THE BREATH. At the time of learning this I did not realise its significance. As each emotion surfaced, instead of grabbing onto it and trying to fight with it, I become the observer. I would watch it come into the body and go out again, just like the breath. I learnt to observe it then let it go. This was a great method of putting meditation to work for me. As the emotions came and went, so too did my physical ailments that were attached to them. Little did I know at this stage what a connection there was between emotions and physical ailments? The throat and chest problems went away and Kundalini continued on its path up to the Heart chakra.
Having Kundalini now in the heart centre, I was able to express real love from my own self. When we define love it is usually from our experiences of childhood, family and relationships. This is a false representation because we are witnessing love in a give and take situation and sometimes we take more than we give. Sometimes we are unable to accept love at all. When unconditional love comes into our life it truly redefines your perception of “real Love”. There are no boundaries as it unconditional and given from the Divine so that you can accept and give out unconditional love to all. All we have to do is open our hearts and allow love to flow in.
All healing is based on unconditional love to heal Mind, Body and Spirit. Kundalini continues its path up to my throat chakra and it was time for me to deepen my level of meditation so that God could communicate with me on a deeper level.Within my own family we first formed the circle of four. Sitting in these circles it was soon clear that I was to be the one to be the channel of communication from Spirit. We met regularly over the next two years with many questions about Spiritualism. As our knowledge expanded so did our circle within the family. It was a great learning experience direct from the source.
Typically with my life it was time to once again move on and I could feel Kundalini on the move.With Kundalini now at my eyebrow centre I started seeing auras, my own and other people’s. It was first as a band of gold, then gradually the colours of the rainbow started to appear. I was using my psychic eye to gain a greater understanding of myself and others.
This became a great tool in diagnosing people and their aliments later on.Up ever up, Kundalini would go and now found its way to my crown chakra and the link to my higher self. As I advanced into deeper meditation some big decisions had to be made. As with all of us we have our own free will to decide what we will do and where we are going. It is our choice to decide.
As I sat in meditation one night I could clearly see what appeared to be a rise or hill not too far away. There was a sign “The Enlightened State”. I thought to myself doesn’t it take many lifetimes to reach the enlighten state? I felt excited that I would be able to experience the blissful state not just for 20 minutes but for the rest of my life. All I had to do was to climb to the top of the hill and enter. As I walked along what appeared to be a stony road, I could feel the energy building. All of a sudden I heard a voice calling out to me. As I turned I saw an old man down on his knees crawling along the stone road, his knees covered in blood and I knew that he was not going to make it to the top of the hill and to the enlightened state. I turned around and went back and as I bent down to pick him up he looked into my eyes, which completely engulfed me, and he said, “My son, my precious child, your experience is in the journey along the road, not at the enlightened state”. With those words I then knew my real Spiritual Journey was to unfold through healing others.
As before, people continued to find me and tell me about their illness. So I now know that my destiny was to help those people through the power of HANDS ON HEALING, through the divine source. I started healing firstly with my family, friends and then expanding to their friends and other people. Healing only came into being for me, by trusting me first and having trust in God. I am living my Spirituality. Over the last 25 years I have been healing many people – from the unborn to the elderly, treating physical, emotional and mental conditions. “The power of spiritual healing truly is one of the most import aspects of spiritual unfoldment”
As with me, you too can push through your sickness, illness and emotions to unfold your own spiritual journey. It is up to you, ever changing, ever evolving.
“There is great joy within the heart,Go in for that’s where our spiritual journey will start”